I am one ugly duckling. I never had many friends for the same reason. Even kids too despised me. That inferiority complex built up within me and I limited all my activities to the four walls of my room. I always cursed my parents and God for bringing me into the world, this way.

Every time I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I knew that I was more ugly than what anyone could imagine. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my convulsed tragic face looked even uglier. Every time I see a beautiful girl clinging onto a handsome guy, pillion riding a bike, I wished I were that handsome to have a girl friend.

In mid-twenties you really crave for a soul mate, some one closer than friends and even parents in whom you can’t confide many things because of the generation gap. I wanted some one close enough to my heart. But I knew I was asking for something too much. I could find thousand odd reasons for a girl to hate me, but not one damn single reason why she should love me.

Some curse from some life must have been haunting me. I was leading a sick life. My friends had girls and they were always at popular hang-outs.

And that was the time when I took temporary solace on the WWW. I opened the laptop lid and logged into the yahoo messenger. Those less than ten in number friends were offline. And I logged into some chat room.

Let me chat with a girl, I’ve decided today. And I started searching and IMing (instant messaging) few girls in one chat room. None seemed to be very interested. They despised my name too?

I was about to close the session when I received a message from Sreya_XYZ. A girl? Wow! And I replied. The chat started the normal way and we acquainted with each other.

This continued for some days and we became good friends, of course we’ve never seen each other. I never asked her picture. And I never wanted to show myself.

We spoke a lot. About current affairs, about sports, friendship and love, the list never ends. Perhaps, I was successful in the quest for a good friend. But I dint know how long it would last. One day, she will definitely leave me. But I prepared to live for the ephemeral moment than eternity.

I liked her candid nature, soft spoken attitude, and now-a-days she started caring for me too. I know I don’t deserve a place in her heart, but it felt so good when someone cared for me. That warmth, that love which I’d missed throughout my life. I may be ugly but I do have a heart. Eventually, my heart started liking hers.

God has distanced me from so much happiness in my life which people of my age are undergoing. But I wished that she would stay with me forever.

God seemed to have listened to my prayers. And on one eventful day, I logged into the messenger. Mustering all my courage, I am gonna tell her the truth. And I will propose her. I’ve been waiting for her to come online and when she’s finally in, I started to type I LOVE YO… before I received a request to accept a file.

A picture of hers. I have never seen such a beautiful girl in my life. So beautiful with sharp features that you can’t take your eyes off her even for a moment. She will never accept me! Perhaps I should send her my photo too! Am I gonna be lonely again? A train of thoughts ran through my mind.

And I immediately started hitting the backspace with bated breath and burdened heart as I watched myself erasing the ‘I LOVE YOU’ off the IM, and off my heart.

But this sadness was transient unlike always and I was more than surprised and happy when I saw an ‘I love you’ from her. I was totally flabbergasted at the turn-out of today’s events.

‘You will never love me if you see my photo’ I messaged her.

She replied with a heart emoticon. And I decided to send her my picture. There was a long silence after she saw my picture. I knew, she would hate me, and tears rolled down my eyes. There was a tumultuous whirlpool of gloom inside my heart. The pain was inexplicable. Tears blurred my vision as I was about to sign out of the messenger when something held me back.

It was a kiss emoticon. Followed by an ‘I Love you’

I couldn’t control my tears. She still loves me?

A few months later…

I had to fight with my parents for them to accept our marriage. They dint want me to get married to Sreya. The reason, Sreya’s mute. She’s speech impaired. Because of a rare laryngeal cancer, her vocal cords were removed when she was a kid.

Ultimately my parents succumbed to my pressure and I and Sreya were married with their blessings.

It was a dimly lit night and we stood on the balcony looking at the sky with her hand clasping mine.

“Sreya,” I gently rubbed my other hand over the clasp and asked her, “Would you have still married me if you spoke?”

Her grip loosened and she unclasped her hand. She stared at me angrily for a while before she walked back into the home and reached for a pen and a piece of paper.

And she wrote something and thrust the note at me.

I loved you as a person. Never went by your appearance. I know that your heart loves me. I can feel it. Please do learn that my heart loves you even more. Look into my eyes.

I am always happy that I met you, and that I married a great man.

God gave me everything. And I was never sorry that I couldn’t speak. Perhaps, now I really wish God could give me back my speech. Just because, I want to say ‘I love you’

True, God has given her everything sans speech. Nevertheless she spoke with her eyes and I listened with my heart as we walked along the road called life, hand in hand.

Today, my mirror no longer mocks at me. I saw the handsome me coated by her pure love that masked my ugliness forever and ever.

We may be the damned children of the God, but happier and content than many of those blessed children. No one in this world is perfect. Perhaps you should ignore the imperfections wishfully with a heart to see a perfect love…