With tears in my eyes that wetted my cheeks I slowly climbed the stairs and reached to the top of my house. The huge cement tank stood before me mutely witnessing my melancholy in its inanimate dreariness. I climbed up the ladder that leaned against the tank and stood on the top of the tank and looked at the sky.

“Why is this happening to me? Why are you doing this to me?” I shouted at the top of my voice, still crying. Two floors beneath me, Daddy and Mommy are quarrelling. No peace of mind. And it’s me who’s bearing the brunt of those quarrels.

I have always wanted my Mommy to kiss me on my forehead and wish me a good night. Alas, forget me expecting so little love from her, I would be rather grateful if the night could pass, without them engaging in a brawl.

Expecting so little love from you is my mistake, Mommy? It has been happening since quite a long time. Since the time I was in my KG’s till date when I am almost out of my graduation. For all these years, I have seen other parents loving their kids so much. I missed all that from my parents. Nevertheless they provided me with good food, education and every possible amenity, but what I needed from them, they never gave me. LOVE.

It was at the end of my graduation that I met her. It is said that God takes away certain things from you only to return them later when you are repaid with interest, so you will value it, dearly. Perhaps I found my love, at least solace in her, Isha.

She cheered me up whenever I was down. She showed me the way out of the darkness of gloom with the lamp of love.

Slowly we realized how important we are to each other. Unlike all other lovers who normally go to places of entertainment, I always took her to a temple.

I was always under this impression that love is divine. And why I took her to a temple? It was for my own selfish reasons. I always prayed to God that this happiness and love should stay on with me forever. God, I have suffered enough for no mistake of mine. Please see that both of us get married and are always together and happy. I would pray and open my eyes to see her next to me still praying.

“What did you pray for such a long time?” I asked her. “That you should always love me so much…” she replied.

“Please smear this sindhoor across my forehead”, she said. “But that means we are getting married right?” I sounded slightly objectionable.

“Yes, infront of God, I want you to do it. The moment we fell in love, it itself meant that we are not two hearts any more, but a single soul,” she said.

“Why do you love me so much?” I asked her and yet another, “Will you always love me the same?”

She slightly tapped on my head and nodded in affirmation with her lips spreading wide and she started to blush. God, I love her.

And above all every night whenever I used to leave her at her home, she would point her finger onto her forehead and ask for a kiss like a small kid.

“I can’t sleep well if you don’t give me a good night kiss,” she said. I saw a reflection of my own, in her. I slowly took her head in my hands and she closed her eyes. And I kissed her on her forehead.

It is said that true love always ends in a tragedy. Indifferences crept between me and her. I felt she started ignoring me. One day I questioned her. She shouted back at me saying that she was concentrating on many other things and hence she has no time for me. Right now her career and her parents are more important to her. I scolded her for days together. I was starting to feel insecure.

Instead of making me feel better and getting me out of this crisis, she said, “We’ll take a break from all this. Perhaps then you will be able to understand me well.”

“Love is not something which you can throw into a dustbin and retrieve it later,” I argued. She wasn’t ready to listen. “Later it will be too late for you to get me back,” I told her. She nodded.

“What is wrong with me? Wrong with my love?” I questioned. She still insisted on the same point that she wanted a break. And slowly the crack spread across the fragile glass called relationship before it was finally broken.

An year later, I heard that she married another guy. How could she do this to me, God? How could she forget all those days we have come to your temple? How could she even allow another guy to apply the ‘sindhoor’ when I have done it? Why did you cheat me? What happened to all the prayers?

A friend of mine always used to say this. Girls either fall for the wrong guy, love him so much until he ditches her or they will ditch the right one. But they never know how to love.

Erasing Isha’s memories hasn’t been easy for me. Three years I have spent in her company thinking her to be my everything. Ultimately I had to marry another girl. “We have found the perfect soul mate for you,” my Mommy said.

“I don’t wanna get married,” I said, my heart still convalescing from the hurt made by Isha. “How much time will you be alone?” she said and insisted on my marriage.

I did marry the new girl. And we had a kid too. But I never took interest in neither of them. I always started early to office and reached home late. I was just wiling away my life. I never cared for my wife and my kid back home.

Until one day…

I was unable to sleep that particular night when I walked out of my room. My wife and my daughter slept in a separate room. I slowly made my way to the garden and pulled out a cigarette and lighted it with a lighter. In the faintly lit surroundings, I saw a silhouette standing at the farther end of the garden.

I slowly approached her and it was my daughter. I threw the cigarette off my fingers and kneeled down before her and turned her towards my side.

Tears cascaded down her cute little cheeks and they wetter my hands even as I held her with my hands.

“What mistake did I do Daddy? Why have you been ignoring me all this time? How can you hold me responsible for your past, Daddy? All I need at this age is a little love from you. Why cant you give me that daddy? Mom and me have cried so much all these nights. My heart is so small that I feel like its getting crushed from inside Daddy. I love you so much daddy. Please do love me….”
Did I really hear it or was it my inner self that spoke to me as my daughter. And that moment I realized. All these days, God, I have been asking for something less precious not even realizing that I am having a thing even more precious.

And I held my four year old daughter close to my heart and rubbed the tears off her eyes. And kissed her all over her cheeks. My wife was behind me at the door looking at me showering the much required love upon my daughter. She couldn’t have asked for more.

I slowly lifted my daughter in my arms and walked towards my bedroom. “From today on, you will sleep with Daddy,” I said when she chuckled.

I slowly lay her on the bed and started to walk away when she held my hand. I looked towards her and she pointed her finger to her forehead. My heart sank and the whole world below me drowned.

“Good night,” I wished her after kissing her on her forehead.